FEEL GOOD FRIDAY β‘ Romanticizing autumn, D.C. mutual aid, raging to Linkin Park
Forget a "winter arc." Cold weather is actually the time I pop out more.
I canβt stress enough the role my homies have played in my life the past couple of months. I know depression is a chronic illness β a cross I have bore since middle school, and will bear until the end of my life.
But friends, old and new, have helped keep that day at bay.
Iβm so full of gratitude for everyone who has sent me a raunchy meme, a Miffy or Calico Critters video, a song rec, an expansive prayer, a bit of concrete encouragement or solicited advice.
Thank you for letting me cry on FaceTime and actively supporting my creative endeavors. Thank you for giving me grace when Iβm late. Thank you for offering to list me at gigs. Thank you for making sure I have a non-alcoholic bev to drink at the function. Thank you for not making me stand.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
β VIBE CHECK βͺ MOODBOARD β PRO-TIP βͺ RAGE β IN ROTATION βͺ
The Vibe Check: The First Snowfall
In many ways, this time of year is the best time of year for me. I donβt get seasonal depression β at least, not in the fall anyway.
Summer is when I lie motionless, sweating and full of jealousy toward rooftop-bar-goers and Trader Joeβs picnickers.
Itβs Hozier season. Itβs Evermore oβclock. Itβs time to sit on a park bench and listen to **** ***** as the sun goes down. Listening to Jorja Smith and other neo-R&B baddies makes being lonely pleasurable and romantic.
Maybe I get unusually good at being a human during autumn because the dark demands it. And possibly, because itβs my act of rebellion. As others slow down, pump their breaks, retreat into their homes, I brave the winds and snow; Iβm unafraid to stay out late. I finally find the vigor to work out and otherwise be a menace.
Today was the first snow of the season: Beyond late and over quickly. The flurries gave the groupchat joy nonetheless. I think thatβs the theme of the season: Finding joy wherever we can.
Moment for the Moodboard: The start of β¨ Cozy Season β¨
Sustainability Protip: Support your local mutual aid efforts in style.
Last month, I sold clothes as a thrift vendor for the first time! I canβt believe I finally had the courage to do something with the clothes Iβve been collecting all this time, for this specific endeavor. I put myself out there in front of people β for a good cause, too.
Another good cause; another thrift event: Iβll be tabling at βWinter Wonderland,β the winter iteration of D.C. Witch Fest at Wonderland Ballroom. The event takes takes place on Dec. 7, 2024, from 11 a.m. EST to 4 p.m. EST.
Iβm so grateful I got the opportunity to participate in something like this, which benefits the D.C. Abortion Fund.
Iβll be at Le Mont Royal on Dec. 11, 2024, too, so watch this space for details.
Rage Room & In Rotation: From Zero by Linkin Park
Iβm realizing that this week, my rage is perfectly embodied by the music Iβve been bumping. What I love about Linkin Park βΒ and what Iβve always loved about Linkin Park β is the way they talk about resentment, isolation, forgiveness and accountability.
For me, those themes translated to how Iβve felt and feel about my parents. For many listeners, those themes mirror their love lives. LPβs new album From Zero revives these motifs, giving us old-school sound and classic messaging, with a fresh face.
This classic messaging however can apply to tortured familial and romantic relationships, as well as the experience of living with systemic sexism, racism, transphobia and class oppression.
1. βOver Each Otherβ by Linkin Park β I have to give credit to my dear friend Anna for giving me fresh ears with which to listen to this song.
β¦ you won't let me breathe
And I'm not ever right
All we are is talkin'
Over each other
If this doesnβt describe our current sociopolitical climate, what does?
2. βTwo Facedβ by Linkin Park β
Last time, I was hanging by a thread
Tryna say I'm not, but I'm in it over my head
That's when I figured out where it led
Beginnin' to realize that you put me over the edgeβ¦
Your truth's not rigid, your rules aren't fair
The dark's too vivid, the light's not there
I start to give in, but I can't bear
To put it all behind, I run into it blind like
βTwo Facedβ is tied with βCasualtyβ and βIGYEIHβ for my faves. This album grew on my like fungus, yβall.
And to be clear, even though I am queening out to this album and Iβm excited to see LP on tour after a decade and a half of listening to this band, I donβt condone anything Emily Armstrong has stood for, to be clear. I think thatβs the best part about being a βstanβ but veritably grown β two things can be true at one time.
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